Confused

The Actual Ugly Truth

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June 11th, 2025

I’m finally opening my eyes
And letting myself embrace the validity
I filled my head with excuses you’d never give
You’ve probably laughed at my stupidity
I gave you endless patience
That you had never earned
And I abandoned all the things
That I knew I really deserved
Someone who actually wanted me
Wouldn’t leave me in this confusion
And I can’t even blame you
When I’m the one who built the illusion
You told me time and time again
Through your actions and your words
You’re “just not that interested”
I’m not what you’re moving towards
So I’m sorry I never listened
And I’m sorry for being clueless
But I need to apologize to myself
For waiting for you to choose this

Personal Note: Off subject, but I just wanted to share a small moment for my brother TJ, who passed away on this day four years ago (12/15/2021). I hope you’re resting in peace.

Diagnosis

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March 4th, 2025 

I guess I’m confused
I don’t know what to do
Every thought that I have
Just leads me back to you
Are you the underlying cause
That’s been keeping me sick
Because as nice as you can be
You’re now acting like a prick

Fragile

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July 25th, 2011

It started with a look that turned into more. These conversations started slowly and are now what they once were before. The look turned into a kiss, and I closed my eyes. Mistake number one, what a surprise. Closed eyes cannot see. I let you get the best of me. Our lips together let you take my hand. It was what I wanted, but nothing was planned. In my bed, I slept confused. I no longer felt so abused. I let you bring back my smile. It was gone for quite some while. I woke up alone, and that’s how I now feel. Please tell me all my thoughts aren’t real. I gave my body to a guy. I don’t know why, I can’t deny. My fragile sign has been ignored. All I wanted was to feel adored. There’s nothing left for us to say. I got confused and let you take me away.