Run

February 19th, 2020

You used my pain
To your advantage
Of feelings that
I did not manage
A path that I
Could never change
Of memories that
I can’t exchange
With love left behind
In the past
Times of hope
That wouldn’t last
And I can’t hide
Or run away
So I sold my soul
To feel okay

Crave

November 28th, 2009

It was the intensity of your curious eyes
burning into mine
with such confusion
that held me in awe for so long.

I had no grip on what I was doing
where I was going
and what the ending outcome would be
but I loved every moment of it.

Secret words we’d exchange
never fell from my lips
I only traced the words
with my fingertips –

Because they were mine
my secret
mine to hold
mine.

No actions followed our words
no more confused stares
we faded from that
right into awkward smiles
right into no longer existing.

No longer does any word
I say to you
mean anything
and your words are still secrets
but no longer my favorites.

You no longer light up my phone
and light up my face
with a smile
from the secrets we created
in a dizzy illusion
of what would seem to be a crush –

But we failed
and in a whirl of fading stars
I fell back to the ground.

I found my way up again
only to find
your words have been given away
but that’s okay.

Your words were more than enough
to fill my appetite
and no longer are they
what I crave.

(Originally Posted Here)

The Ending

December 11th, 2019

Time has passed
But I still ache
I told my truth
You let me break
Locked in my journal
The events that I transcribed
The feelings that I held
The medicine they prescribed
What happened can’t be changed
As I watched you drive away
We can’t alter the past
But we can start over today
Because in the midnight hours
When I was most vulnerable
You made a mistake
And we were irrecoverable
Because I am not an instrument
I’m not here to be played
I trusted too easily
Which left me betrayed
So if we see each other
There’s nothing to discuss
You made your decision
And left me with mistrust
All these songs know how I feel
And I can’t keep pretending
I’m worth more than an afterthought
So this must be the ending