Inside The Shell

January 10th, 2025

Trust is something
I don’t know how to give
Because I moved on
But I still can’t forgive
The person who should’ve been there
Left me alone and broken
Pushed me into a shell of myself
Until I was no longer outspoken
Crippled me into a “tolerable” version
Where I was living a lie
And after all of these years
I still find it hard to cry
I should have been happy
Because I was married
But they left me with these feelings
That I can’t keep buried
How can I trust someone new
When my spouse broke my hope
I longed for a connection
They didn’t want to know
When I needed them most
They were not there
I reached out for help
And they didn’t even care
I was over being neglected
I was their last priority
Now how am I supposed to trust
That anyone can show up for me
After three years I’m still healing
Because I carry this burden
From the decade that I spent
Trying to love an Urban

True Love

January 2nd, 2025

I grew up watching Cinderella
And Beauty & The Beast
Raised to believe
That love comes so easy
But the love that I’ve chased
Was always one sided
I attract broken people
I just can’t fight it
Because hurt people hurt people
And I’ve been on both sides
But my energy attracts
What I say I don’t like
When I meet what I want
The feelings aren’t there
I’ve learned to fall in love
With pain and despair
I pursue the wrong people
I love unrequited
Knowing the disrespect
Was something I abided
Playing the long game
Hoping someone will cave
Is how I’ll end up alone
At the end of the day
But that’s all I’ve ever known
Self abandoning and limerence
What I wouldn’t give
To experience romance
Even fairy tales stem
From something once grim
True love is a fantasy
That I’ll never be in

For This

2004

This is for the tears
That you made me cry
This is for the time
I screamed out why
This is for the scars
You left on my heart
And how broken I was
When we were apart
This is for the girl
You drove insane
You made me crazy
It’s stuck in my brain