Crazy

November 8th, 2009

It’s crazy
how people you think you know
turn into
people you don’t.

Eyes wide
there’s so much you can’t see
though it is all real
but it doesn’t exist
because it was fake.

Loud noises
nothing that you want to hear
echo
ear to ear
make it stop
it’s not real
it’s fake
I don’t know these people.

I shake
and I can’t stop
but you can’t see it
because it’s not real
but it’s not fake
I feel it
I feel you
it’s crazy
I don’t know you.

I want to scream
but once I start
I fear
I’ll forget how to stop.

Quitting
don’t be a quitter
scream
and don’t stop.

I cry
and not the kind for pain
the kind
where you lose your mind.

I breathe
but not naturally
I force in the air
but it finds a way out
before reaching my lungs.

Inhale nothing
sink into myself
I can’t escape
you can’t escape
because you’re fighting
yourself.

I thought I knew
myself
you
the mirror
but I don’t.

I found a way
to comfort me
but inside
nothing’s what it is
you can’t see
what I can see.

I’m sinking
into myself
and it’s crazy;

But
I
don’t
know
you.

2009 (24)

DNA

August 21st, 2009

I want to speak up, but even then I fear no one will hear me still. Even if they hear me, that doesn’t mean that they’re actually even listening. You find yourself writing about your friends, but they’re too annoyed at the fact you’re always writing new things, to even bother reading them anymore. Putting effort and affection into something you think is art, and finding the response wasn’t what you wanted sometimes hurts a lot more than you thought it would. No response, or interrogation. The people who actually care don’t read it in the way it’s supposed to be artistically, and want to know what’s behind it. Writing is personal, and sometimes it takes a lot of courage for me to post it. No one sees that; no one understands. No one gets what crossed my mind when I tried to form those phrases; when I tried to create something that replaces the need for pages and pages of smeared ink diary entries. Simple and complex, they link together, their DNA forms all I need to say that I love writing, but sometimes words are not enough to keep me breathing.

(Originally Posted Here)