April 1st, 2024
I confess, I’m a mess
Most days I don’t even get dressed
The gears turning in my head
Filling with things unsaid
I took a break from sharing thoughts
I didn’t want to get caught
Unbeknownst to what occurred
I broke down like once before
Holding my breath
This is life or death
2003 (6th Grade)
Don’t tell me
I already know what you are thinking
You’re going to say it
The words
The hurtful ones
The ones I never want to hear
[Chorus:]
But I don’t want the water getting deep
I’m gasping between each word that you say
I need air, need to breathe
Need space, gotta leave
The water’s getting deep
Might as well leave
Need to breathe
On this little place I call Earth
[Chorus:]
But I don’t want the water getting deep
I’m gasping between each word that you say
I need air, need to breathe
Need space, gotta leave
Who do you think you are
Barging into my life
Then you’re gonna leave me miserable
Who do you think you are
You’re making the water deep
Might as well lay here forever, forever
Cause the water’s gotten deep
[Chorus 2:]
And I didn’t want the water getting deep
I was gasping between each word that you said
I needed air, needed to breathe
Needed space, so I left
February 20th, 2010
Believe me, you always knew I was lying
Hurt me, you could always tell I was crying
Breathe me, I don’t deserve this air
Numb me, because I just don’t want to care
There’s not much else that I can say
Just waiting for the end of this day
They all tell me I will be okay
I just don’t want to hear this today
Push everything back and it won’t exist
Take back my disease and the scars on my wrist
You changed the way my mirror and I spoke
And everything I used to be, you broke
Every chance I ever had, you changed my mind
And I’m just sick of knowing that you made me blind
Now you’re gone, and I have nothing left to me at all
I never thought I could ever take that hard of a fall
Open my eyes and I now can see I was so confused
And everything I kept inside made me feel more abused
The pain spread around in places I just could no longer take
And how long I kept it inside before I finally let myself break
I took the pieces and I had to put them back together
But the pieces won’t always fit forever
The glue and the tape just won’t always do
And I know I just can’t count on you
I’ll find a way to keep me sane
I just can’t always numb the pain
So here I am and it might be okay
Am I finally ready to live today
The girl in my mirror still yells some cruel things
And there’s still hurtful words every time the phone rings
But it’ll help me cope and I’ll finally be strong
Because as blind as I was, I now know it was you who was wrong
Doll Poetry 