We Listen & We Don’t Judge

January 17th, 2025

Hi, my name is Karissa
And I worry about my vices
I know I’m self destructive
When I’m left to my own devices
I don’t think I’m an addict
Is it too soon for this meeting
Can preventative care be a measure
When recovery isn’t fleeting
I’ve seen my mom’s struggles
I know the things she won’t admit
The last meeting I attended was with her
When I was just a kid
I always quit things cold turkey
Because moderation is tough
And it leaves me wondering
If dry January is enough
I’m hearing how easy it is
To lose all control
And fall down deep
Into the addiction rabbit hole
As a child of an addict
I try to take precaution
And taking breaks from my vices
Should I do this more often
I don’t know where this is going
But I know I’m glad that I came
Reminding myself “Just Another Drink
Can be a slippery game

Inheritance

December 3rd, 2024

Life was never as hard for me
As when I thought it was easy
Because I look at trauma it caused
And it still makes me feel uneasy
You had the money to pay the bills
But I paid with my childhood
Cleaning up your vodka bottles
And wishing things were good
When I grew up I got married
And the cycle then repeated
I found the hidden vodka bottles
And feared I’d been defeated
But I broke free from you
So I broke free from him
Even when it was uncomfortable
I pushed myself out on a limb
Because love is not an apology
For doing the same things again
So I had to break the pattern
And move on from where I’ve been
Now I do dry January every year
Knowing I could be just a drink away
From becoming just like you or him
And I’ll always choose a different way
You raised me to think this was normal
So I don’t know if I can ever forgive you
But I hope I found the end to the story
That I never planned to continue

Maudlin

April 12th, 2024

I’m trying to convince myself
That these things are not signs
When I know the truth
You were never mine
Why am I so convinced
We just needed more time
And the truth of it all
Is I just need more wine