We Listen & We Don’t Judge

January 17th, 2025

Hi, my name is Karissa
And I worry about my vices
I know I’m self destructive
When I’m left to my own devices
I don’t think I’m an addict
Is it too soon for this meeting
Can preventative care be a measure
When recovery isn’t fleeting
I’ve seen my mom’s struggles
I know the things she won’t admit
The last meeting I attended was with her
When I was just a kid
I always quit things cold turkey
Because moderation is tough
And it leaves me wondering
If dry January is enough
I’m hearing how easy it is
To lose all control
And fall down deep
Into the addiction rabbit hole
As a child of an addict
I try to take precaution
And taking breaks from my vices
Should I do this more often
I don’t know where this is going
But I know I’m glad that I came
Reminding myself “Just Another Drink
Can be a slippery game

Tortured Artists Yield Loss Over Remembrance: Denial

April 20th, 2024

These are my final words for you
So I need to write them all
I think that it is time
You’re done toying with this Doll
I convinced myself I moved on
But you dug up what was buried
While rewriting our epitaph
I’m wondering if this was necessary 
I was not the guilty party
Then you made me an accessory
And all the time we spent together
Not captured in my “Memories”
I wonder if there were smaller men
Who have lived before
Because you couldn’t reach the bar
When I left it on the floor
I wasn’t supposed to fall in love
That role wasn’t written for you
But you hooked me like an addict
And now my fix is overdue
Everything feels like a sign
That’s pointing me to you
Maybe I’m just in denial
But maybe you’re here too

Note: This is part one of my pentalogy, which I’ve posted in reverse order. Each of the five parts can be read independently, in sequence, or backward. While the date states I wrote this on April 20th, 2024, the poetry spans from pieces I began and left unfinished over the past two years. April 20th is the day the idea for this story first came to me, and I pulled all of my writing together. After about four months of refining, I’m thrilled to finally share the entire piece! If you’ve read the other sections, you might have noticed my influences were Taylor Swift, The Tortured Poets Department, and the stages of grief. Let me know how many Taylor Swift references you spot!

Tortured Artists Yield Loss Over Remembrance (The Pentalogy)

Part 1: Denial
Part 2: Anger
Part 3: Bargaining
Part 4: Depression
Part 5: Acceptance

Vodka

January 26th, 2009

As time went by
Your addiction only grew
And after some time
You’re not the same mother I knew
Almost a bottle a day
Your memory grows weak
And every time I repeat myself
My words you’ve never heard me speak
And for the both of us
I must remain the one who’s strong
And even though you doubt me
I know you’re the one who’s wrong