Becoming

December 3rd, 2019

The year is coming to an end
But I want time to stop
I’m watching life pass me by
Like I’m stuck behind the backdrop
The decade began with tales of woe
A heart that was going to burst
So I gathered myself and looked in the mirror
I said “I’m going to put myself first”
Those words rang false as I hit the wall
A fist held tight on my neck
In a year’s time, I had forgotten my worth
A memory that I’ll always regret
But a wilted flower can still bloom
One can regain their stature
If you lock the door and walk away
There’s hope for another chapter
You can nurture seeds and watch them grow
Find love, find home, find marriage
You’re not confined to who you were
And a phase that was once disparaged
But smooth sailing can still storm
A moment can become cutthroat
So it’s sink or swim, but I know my place
And I’ve learned how to stay afloat
So as seconds countdown on the clock
I wish to not forget these days
As ten years time changes everything
And I’ve learned from my upraise

So Confused

October 11th, 2009

So suddenly
I can’t believe
I let myself get into this

And anxiously
I made believe
Happy endings really exist

And on my own
And so alone
I found comfort in a voice

And in the sound
So interwound
I led myself into a choice

And questioning
What once believed
A path I’d find would do me right

And nervously
I can’t believe
I once was looking for the light

And in the end
It will make sense
But nothing seems to anymore

And up and down
This stupid road
Still looking for an open door

I once believed
I once thought true
That love was a mutual feeling

But years of pain
And weekly crying
My broken heart’s finally done healing

And late at night
I couldn’t sleep
With thoughts of you clouding my mind

I took the pain
I took the confusion
Cause loving you just made me blind

And out of sight
Was never out of mind
Until I found someone thought to be better

But I got caught up
I tripped too fast
To find myself under the weather

And friends can’t see
When they’re not around
And maybe I found
I like it that way

And so confused
And so confused
And so confused
And so confused

I can’t say it enough
To bring out it’s worth
Because so confused
Is all I’m worth

My Stranger

September 19th, 2009

Stranger in the alley
Venom on her lips
Painted nails
Red to the tips
It was so dark outside
But you’d have to be blind not to see
The hurt in her eyes
Shining so visibly
She was freckled in goosebumps
But warm to the touch
And deep in her eyes
She had been hurt so much
Years of pain live in her
She grew up alone
And when wanting to talk
There was nobody home
And her eyes spoke to me
They were words she’d never say
Everything she’d ever loved
Has been taken away
It’s hard to believe
All that you can tell
The look in her eyes
Showed her walk through hell
And her weak appearance
Was all too wrong
Because alone in an alley
This stranger was strong