Labeled

August 20th, 2009

Beat me down with your stereotypes, but I can never confine myself. You can talk, and write, and pretend all you want, but only I will ever know the real me. You don’t know the truth, not even half of it, or even how I feel. You can’t tell me who I am, what I want, or what I’ve done. Repeat my words, but they change, stories change, and all I fear is drama starts. People change, and so do I, so I can’t hold on to your label or define myself anymore. Who I am has never been what I am, but no one gets the difference. If you can’t tell between them, what gives you the right to claim you know me well enough to stereotype me in the first place. In the mirror, I’ve watched myself change, and through my dreams, I’ve felt it. I can’t hold on anymore, I’ve broken my self-image, and all for some words that mixed up my intentions to smile. Facing my image and my dreams has lost me in all this confusion. I can’t hold on to who I was, and I can only hope that they understand. Seeing myself change has been one of the hardest parts, but holding onto my self-image of what I used to be makes it hard to accept the fact that I changed, and I have no identity. I’ll take my time before I try to confine, and I can only hope it turns out alright in the end. But if you can’t love me without a label, then what kind of love was that from the start.

(Originally Posted Here)

It’s All I Deserve

August 19th, 2009

The music’s playing, taking control of me. Off across the country, off to where I don’t know. Off to find myself, find a comfort zone. Looking for something in someone, looking for something in me, looking for the music that’ll help set me free. Friendship is a loss of privacy, giving someone just as much of the ability to destroy you as the one you love. Cutting deep, feel the knife penetrate your body, almost to mix you up and leave you where you belong. Leaving you bleeding, searching for help, finding nothing. Looking in the mirror, there’s nothing you see that’s worth it, it’s those people you’re here for, but once they’re gone, why are you still here. Blast the music louder, too loud to hear your own thoughts, don’t be yourself, they don’t like you that way. Block out the sound, block out the music, block out the buzzing, the silence, leave me with nothing. This is all I have, I never wanted this, but the love broke me and I gave myself up for a cold-hearted soul that sucked the life from me and left me with all the nothing I deserve.

(Originally Posted Here)

I Will Fall Asleep At Night

August 18th, 2009

Have you ever been confused
And been told that it’s alright
But you know that it’s not
Cause it keeps you up at night

Have you ever looked in the mirror
Not knowing who you were
And every one that mattered
Just made you more unsure

[Chorus:]
Looking in the mirror
What’s wrong with my eyes
Hard to imagine
I broke down to cry
I thought I was stronger
Just like you thought you were right
And once you’re gone
I will fall asleep at night

Did it even matter
I let you close to me
It was hard at first
But then I told you everything

You saw me when I was weak
Didn’t bother to make me strong
And you put me down again
To prove you’re the one who’s wrong

[Chorus:]
Looking in the mirror
What’s wrong with my eyes
Hard to imagine
I broke down to cry
I thought I was stronger
Just like you thought you were right
And once you’re gone
I will fall asleep at night

I can’t stand you at all
I could never stand your lies
So I didn’t even care
Every time I saw you cry

I won’t give you more attention
I’ve given you enough
And as weak as I was
You’re the one who made me tough

[Chorus:]
Looking in the mirror
What’s wrong with my eyes
Hard to imagine
I broke down to cry
I thought I was stronger
Just like you thought you were right
And once you’re gone
I will fall asleep at night