2009

Always

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September 4th, 2009

I remember how confused I was, so many things running through my mind just about what was going on, and then we laid in awkward silence. The silence broke and you told me you loved me, and you had said it many times before, but none of it was real, none of it was what I needed, none of it was what I wanted. Time’s long gone since then, and this is when I start to realize the truth, I got myself caught up in a bad situation, and I don’t want it to count, so it shouldn’t. I believe how I feel, and how I feel is that I’m pure, and nothing’s what you said, and I’m alone. Half fact, half question, never sure of myself, but I have something that you didn’t take, not even close, and I let my love for you get in the way of the truth. I love you, but not as I did before, and I never should have, and I never will again. I’ve come to a strong decision of this part of me, and step by step I’ll figure out the rest: I’m alone, and I always have been.

(Originally Posted Here)

Mirage

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August 30th, 2009

Last night you held my hand, just like a few weeks ago when we kissed, and those were all dreams, but nothing feels as real as this. I’m lost in this state of mind, and I can’t figure out who you are, and in the process of figuring myself out too, I’m not getting very far. You did this to me unintended I beg, I didn’t expect anything out of words, but here I am with you running through my mind, and you haven’t seemed to step out yet. I never expected to see you like this, and I never expected to see myself acting the way I am, but here I am looking at myself in the mirror, appearance untouched, but looking deeper shows that nothing’s what it used to be. I’m at a loss of words on the fact we’ve been at a loss for words our self, and our conversation has ended. Waiting to talk to you has been on my mind for too long now, and every time my phone goes off my smile fades because your name isn’t there anymore. If it weren’t for my curiosity I would have never had to hear you say you’re sorry, and you weren’t, but it made me smile anyway. If you’re just a mirage it’d be nice if you could let me know now, because I don’t want to get too close to someone who will only disappear in the end.

(Originally Posted Here)

Bull Durham Credo

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August 27th, 2009

I believe in the overuse and the bad intentions of the word love,
The emotions hidden in conversations,
The strong bond between best friends,
The unspoken but understood truth,
The simple smile from a good morning text,
The colors of the rainbow:
Angry, cheerful, happy, jealous, depressed, love,
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple.

But I don’t find myself believing in religion; because I can never believe in something I could never fully understand.

I believe in losing myself in my writing,
I believe in soda in the morning,
I believe in passion,
I believe in never fully growing up,
Night lights, piggy banks, teddy bears,
Sailor Moon, Hello Kitty, Hannah Montana.

Most of all, I believe in memories; because after awhile they’re the only thing that doesn’t change.

Note: This was a structured poem that I had to write for my Creative Writing class. A Bull Durham Credo is a list of the things you believe, followed by something you don’t, and structured into the form of a poem.