Til Death Do Us Part

March 23rd, 2024

Every once in a while in my mind
I catch myself reminiscing
A love I know I’ll never forget
But there was always something missing
Thinking about it is surreal
My twenties feel like a different life
Spent with my high school sweetheart
A time I found myself as a wife
For years fighting the truth
Like a scene on a stage
The ideas lingered in my mind
But they never left my page
After a while of denial
I could no longer fight
“You can go fuck yourself”
He said to me with spite
Not wanting to admit
There was no love left
Playing the victim
But never confessed
He was the one who broke me
I grieved for a year before leaving
And I took the title of the bad guy
Because it seemed to be believing
I was never a suspect
Now here I am under arrest
Feeling like I got hit by a car
And he acted under duress
I know he didn’t love me anymore
Or at least not like he did before
Picking everything over me
What’d he do that for
I gave all that I could
And he took me for a joke
I didn’t know what else to do
With this heart of mine he broke
I needed to depart
He put me through turmoil
There was nothing left to do
Once he let my love spoil
Now I find him in little crevices
I didn’t know exist
He left his mark on me
In more ways than I can list
But I washed my hands of this
Until my knuckles cracked and bled
We said “til death do us part”
And Karissa Urban is dead

My Barricade

March 16th, 2024

Sitting in a coffee shop
I’m going through life’s trials
Forcing myself to write something
After running 6.2 miles
My life is a series
Of events and activities
Then working all week
And trying to maintain productivity
Two years on my own
I’ve been going through the motions
And even before that
I started bottling my emotions
I’ve been working so hard
I need to prove it to myself
I can find happiness
Without needing someone else
I don’t think anyone understands
Why I feel so lonely
Because I surround myself with people
But none of them know me
I don’t know how to drop my walls
I think I lack the wisdom
And until I start letting people in
I need to be my own support system