January 18th, 2024

I thought I was done writing about you
But I have so much left to say
The first time you disappeared
I put my feelings on layaway
Then when you came back
I turned my read receipts on
Just so you could see
When I wouldn’t respond
Throwing boundaries out the window
Like where did they go
You said you didn’t want a relationship
So why didn’t I say no
Trying to not fall
Every time you’d say hello
But you wouldn’t let me in
And you wouldn’t let me go
I thought I could end things
I tried to walk away
You told me you were lonely
Messaged me every day
Until Thanksgiving when I caved
Now you say we shouldn’t see each other anymore
Trying to take control of the situation
Like that wasn’t what I said before
We went back and forth
A tug of war for power
We were on and off
Until things turned sour 
I wish that I had known back then
When I picked you up from Hot Mulligan
There’d only be four more times
That I would see you again
If you ever try to reach out
You can see the last text I sent you
I made a clear expectation
Of things you wouldn’t do
I don’t want to talk to you anymore
But you have my keyboard and mouse
At least I know that you have
A reminder of me in your house
I’m rereading our conversations
I thought you were my person
I’m grieving your absence
You’ve lost me for certain
I’m broken into pieces
Compassion is what you lack
And like Tate McRae said
“I hope you don’t come back”